The Grimoire.
Twenty-five completely unnecessary ways to send a little fictional cosmic inconvenience to someone who probably had it coming. Pick your level of petty.
OPEN THE SPELL BOOK ↓
How petty are we feeling today?
Pick a price tier and we'll take you directly to the appropriate level of completely unnecessary fictional magic.
Petty Magic.
Low stakes. High satisfaction. Perfect for when you're annoyed, but not five-dollars annoyed.
The Stubbed Toe Spell
May they find every coffee table corner with their pinky toe.
The Red Light Curse
May every light turn red precisely as they approach it.
The Wet Sock Hex
May they step in something wet immediately after putting on fresh socks.
The Missing Charger Spell
May their phone reach 3% and every charger mysteriously disappear.
The Shopping Cart Curse
May they always get the cart with the one wheel that goes clunk-clunk-clunk.
The Lukewarm Coffee Hex
May every forgotten cup of coffee become disappointing before they remember it exists.
The Unskippable Ad Spell
May every video begin with an ad they cannot skip.
The Itchy Tag Hex
May every shirt have one tiny tag that bothers them all day long.
The Password Reset Spell
May every website reject the password they swear they haven't used before.
Serious Petty Magic.
You've moved beyond mild irritation. Five whole dollars says this person has genuinely annoyed you.
The Monday Forever Hex
May every day carry the unmistakable emotional energy of a Monday morning.
The Wrong Order Curse
May they get all the way home before discovering their food order is wrong.
The Where Are My Keys Spell
May their keys disappear whenever they're already running late.
The Unexpected Update Hex
May every device demand a mandatory update precisely when they need it most.
The Slow Wi-Fi Curse
May their Wi-Fi work perfectly until they desperately need it.
The Grocery Bag Betrayal Spell
May one grocery bag rip halfway between the car and the front door.
The Alarm Betrayal Hex
May they wake up convinced they overslept, panic, and discover they still have three hours left.
The Endless Hold Curse
May every customer-service call begin with, “Your call is very important to us.”
The Mystery Check Engine Spell
May the check-engine light appear, disappear before anyone can diagnose it, and return the following Tuesday.
Premium Magic.
Bigger spells. Broader inconvenience. For those rare situations where ordinary petty simply will not do.
October Only, Witches.
Every Premium Magic spell is just $5 all October long. Same premium-level pettiness. Much friendlier price.
The Everything Goes Wrong Hex
May nothing catastrophic happen, but absolutely nothing go smoothly either.
The Technology Has Turned Against You Spell
Wi-Fi disconnects. Bluetooth refuses to pair. Printers go offline. Updates begin. Chaos.
The Adulting Apocalypse Curse
May bills, appointments, errands, laundry, dishes, and responsibilities all remember they exist simultaneously.
The Universe Is Messing With You Curse
May they drop things, lose things, forget things, spill things, and repeatedly wonder what they did to deserve this.
The One Thing After Another Spell
May every solved problem immediately reveal a smaller, stupider problem hiding behind it.
The Mildly Haunted House Hex
May one smoke detector chirp occasionally, but never frequently enough to determine which one it is.
THE SUPER HEX.
Or you could choose eighteen.
Every $1 spell. Every $5 spell. One unfortunate recipient. Eighteen spells combined into one massive act of fictional pettiness.
Name the deserving party.
We cannot send fictional cosmic inconvenience to somebody if we do not know where to send the bad news.
Unnecessary upgrades.
Is any of this necessary? Absolutely not. That is precisely why it exists.
Stay Anonymous
They get the spell. They do not get your identity. Mystery makes everything more interesting.
Extra JuJu
Upgrade their spell reveal with extra dramatic presentation, an Extra JuJu badge, and a little more completely fictional cosmic nonsense.
Personal Message
Add up to 300 characters of tasteful pettiness to accompany their completely fictional spell.
Double Trouble
Pick a second spell of equal or lesser value for 50% off that second spell. Because apparently one was not enough.
WITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY.
The universe does not accept IOUs.
Double Trouble
Hex around and find out.
O' HEX NO! is novelty entertainment. The spells, hexes, curses, Extra JuJu and supernatural consequences are fictional. Petty is the brand. Keep it fun, harmless and legal.
